Thurman P. Woodfork


IWVPA Double Tap Award for War Poetry: December 27, 2010
Awarded: December 27, 2010
… or an interesting one, depending on whether or not you’re a new gadget freak. I was about to buy a new computer because this one is flat freaking me out, and then my big HDTV died. Guy from Sears bops in this afternoon, takes it apart, and wants nearly $700 to repair it. I thanked him politely, and said no. Before he left, though, he told me what was wrong; it needs a new power supply and/or a new main module.

Being the skinflint that I am, after he left, I went on my $%&*#@ pokey computer and ran the TV model number along with ‘replacement power supply’ on Google. Up pops one for $103.00. Now, an old radar repairman like me can change out that power supply module in something less than fifteen minutes from a standing start, I figure, with a savings of about $500 (I had to pay Sears $101.00 to tell me it would cost $600.00 to fix the dang thing).

Now the dilemma; I also saw a spiffy new fifty inch Panasonic HD/3D TV on for $1,300. So, do I want to cough up another $100 for a power supply, which might not solve the problem and cause me to spend another $200 for a main module, plus about $1,800 more for a new ‘puter, or scrap the whole thing and buy that lovely Panasonic 3D jobber I’ve already started to lust for and continue to suffer along with this truly aggravating computer?

The Panasonic got great customer reviews on Amazon, except for one guy who was thoroughly pissed because Amazon shipped him an LG regular HDTV instead of the Panasonic 3D and then got snarky about correcting the mistake. Really ticked him off. I forgot to mention I just bought a new TiVo, which is now sitting there in its box looking lonesome waiting for a TV to be hooked up to. Decisions, decisions; I think I’ll just hit the MegaMillion Lotto and buy the Panasonic AND a new computer AND a “Baby Rolls” Ghost as a bonus.

And then there’s this great 10-bedroom house for sale in Potomac, MD for only $4,995,000 complete with an indoor swimming pool. It also has two (2) home theaters and a dance floor on ‘Lower Level 1’ (that’s the basement to you plebeians) along with a gym and a bar. Actually, one of the theaters is upstairs in the Owner’s Suite, which takes up exactly half of ‘Upper Level 1’.

It’s got an elevator, too. I guess that’s in case if you get too smashed at the basement bar you can ride upstairs and crash in one of those eight bedrooms (which come complete with ‘en-suite baths’) on ‘Upper Level 1 (that’s the second floor in mansion-speak; the ground floor is the ‘Main Level’): saves staggering up that lovely double staircase and possibly embarrassing yourself by falling back down.

In case you were wondering, there’s a bedroom on the ‘Main Level’ and another on ‘Lower Level 1’, which comes to ten, altogether. The bedroom on ‘Lower Level 1’ is conveniently located right next to the bar, so maybe you wouldn’t have to stagger up all those stairs after all, should the lift go out.

Oh, yes, and it has a marble foyer, not to mention a gold embossed ceiling in the Grand Salon, plus chandeliers everywhere, even in some of the ‘en-suite baths’. There is also a large room, complete with bath, up in the attic, but you have to walk up the stairs to get to that level; the elevator only goes three floors. Must have been an oversight. That attic space must be for the extra hired help, as there is an au pair/maids suite elsewhere on the premises. The whole thing is sited on two completely fenced and professionally landscaped private acres with gated access. Oops – I forgot the all weather, lighted tennis court and the automated underground lawn sprinklers, not to mention the artfully situated outside illumination, which has its own fancy name that I can’t remember at the moment.

The things you can find when you go idly surfing about the web. I started out reading a new car review on the 2011 Chryslers and somehow wound up in Potomac real estate.