William H.A. Willbond MSM, CD

FRANK’S BLANKETY BLANK RANK PRANK STANK

Frank says our Rick Hillier, our own CDS
Is really outstanding when he meets with the press
Be medaled in scarlet he’s brilliantly dressed
Frank’s on scene reporters were suitably impressed

Frank better be careful when they deal with our Rick
Replaced by General Leslie as the new Tory Pick?
Our own top General is now nick-named the Big Cod
Field soldier’s all love him – he ranks just under God!

Our Canadian soldiers fought for your freedom of the press
Satire and raw hilarity is a thing Newfoundlanders love best
Why not thank General Hillier for doing his absolute very best?
To support our field troops as a most popular and worthy CDS!

Author’s Note: Inspired by Frank Vol 2, Issue #50 Nov 21st 07 page 9 [reproduced below] – a wonderful, trash-filled with innuendo and gossipy satire, rag magazine that hits buttons all across this great Nation!

PS: There is no time slot allotted to the establishment vacancy slate for the CDS; they serve at the whim of the party in power

The Rick Hillier Show

Chief of Defence Staff Ricky Hillier continues to out-weasel his maladroit political masters in Canada’s Nearly New Government™.

Say what you will about Hellyeah, but when the wind shifts, he doesn’t get caught pissing against it. Even before his introductory post-election meeting with his new Tory bosses last year, the astute general had publicly drained the lizard all over his old Liberal capos, excoriating the Grits’ notorious “martial law” campaign spot as an insult to the hard-working members of our armed forces, snappily tagging the Crouton-Martin years as a “decade of darkness,” etc.

Anyone mistaking Hillier’s arslikhan for loyalty to the Tories, however, was soon set straight. The camera-hound CDS’s public profile grew even as he deftly put the boots to Defence Minister Gordon O’Copter, and new boy Peter MacKay has no intent of sharing Gordo’s fate.

Hence Petey’s clumsy attempted ratfuck of Hillier last month, floating – and then officially denying – rumours that the good general would be out on his rearguard come February when his three-year term was up.

(The yarn was peddled through Tory house broadcaster CTV, home to Peter’s pillow puppy, Jana Juganovic.)

Hellyeah, however, effortlessly judo-flipped that one, pointing out that there is no term per se, and he serves at the pleasure of the government. (Translation: If the Tories want to fire him, they’ll have to do it openly and take the hit, instead of trying to pass off his removal as a simple housekeeping issue.)

Last week, MacKay was hobnobbing with NATO thingies in Brussels with his presumptive replacement for Hillier, Lt. General Andrew Leslie, the army supremo. Leslie, who never tires of pointing out that he’s descended from legendary Defence Ministers Brooke Claxton and Andrew MacNaughten, considers himself a natural for the top .job. A fine match indeed for Son of Elmer.

But while Petey and Andy braunnosed, Hellyeah made another of his pop-ins to Kandahar, ensuring maximum coverage by speculating that Afghanistan was 10 years away from non-quagmirehood, which sounded suspiciously like he was pushing back the PM’s timetable for end of the mission.

Then it was back to Ottawa to do a flurry of interviews explaining and clarifying, and incidentally soaking up maximum ink once again.

The next night, the tireless self-promoter, jetlag notwithstanding, presented himself at the Press Gallery dinner, decked out in his scarlet jacketed mess kit, fawned over by press weasels who lined up for pictures with him, while Harper and minions stayed away from the unholy gathering in droves.

“No wonder Gen. Rick Hillier is worshipped by the men and women of Canada’s military, “raved Sun hack Greg Weston. “We had the honour and pleasure of breaking bread next to the popular general at the annual Press Gallery dinner this past weekend, and let’s just say it was an evening to be remembered.”

If Harper is looking for a fight with Hillier, the smart money will be on the general,” Weston concluded in his starry-eyed shoeshine.

Also on hand at the dinner was Newfoundland Preem Danny Williams, who har-de-harred to Ricky, “Now I’m not the only Newfie Harper hates.”

Much wheezy conspiratorial laughter.

SAME STOCK, DIFFERENT DAY

“I have written a letter to my counterpart in the United States, the Secretary of Homeland Security, asking in light of what the Secretary of State has said for them to reconsider their designation of Mr. Arar and remove him from those look-out lists.”

– Stockwell Day opposes Maher Arar’s continued inclusion on American no-fly list, October 25, 2007

“Why would the Prime Minister intervene to gain the release of somebody that apparently the RCMP asks U.S. authorities to apprehend? The Prime Minister is doing one of two things. Either he or his office is ignorant of this important element or they continue to defy information that is given to them by our national security forces — CSIS or the RCMP.”