Edgar A. Tieman

MY BROTHER

My mind haunted with grief and shadows
Was it the swirling jungle mist or his ghost?

Arrived home late that night missing his call
“Hey Am! One last piece of cake mission tonight
Hopping the 141 for the long trip home in the AM
Sorry I missed you, love you.” But it wasn’t to be.

It was like yesterday the last time I saw him
Born almost at the same time we were
Am and Pm, our parents nicknamed us
You could almost say we were Siamese twins
It is almost like we-are one person not two

Without a warning from a sound sleep I bolted up
My mind exploding with bright screaming pain
My whole body exploded from the inside out
Shaking and wincing uncontrollable
I watched him burn through the jungle
And into the earth like a streaking comet
Then… The feeling of being ripped in half

How many times, I dreamed the dream
… Though I felt him close at times.
Was it his ghost or the swirling jungle mist…
Which lead me deeper and deeper into his world?
Is my brother trying to tell me something?

Again and again…
Darkness would envelop my dream,
As it had done many times before.
How many years had it been: 25, 30
Swirling around in my mind?

Vivid in the black darkness of the jungle night
Like a broken record playing over and over again
In the distance he would disappear each time
Diminishing and growing dimmer with each dream

Like a vanishing star in the night sky
He vanished from my life leaving a void there
Leaving me with only memories
As he vanished from my life
Praying each day.
That someday he will be found
And the tears will stop.