Ann-Marie Spittle

I STILL SEE YOUR FACE

I sit here years on from the day it happened and wonder
What if?
Would my life have had the twists and turns it did
If you had lived

I still see your face
And wonder where you are now
Have you moved on
Or are you in the Purgatory that you worried of
Being Catholic

But I pray not
For isn’t that how you are released?
And if so I have prayed so hard you should have been out years ago
But still I worry

But you have been there for me
I know this with all my heart
And when others scorned my achievements
You were there shouting my praises and it was your voice I heard the most

When I passed my exams
When I had my Passing out parade
When I landed the job I’d always wanted
When I write
I feel how proud you are of me
And my heart sings

No I haven’t missed out on being with you
For you are always with me at the best times
And the worst
And when I walk down the aisle to meet my new husband
And when we have our first child
You will be there too
And your love will filter through
As it always has
Even if I can’t see you
I can still feel you
And no one can take that away from me
For I still see your face

Author’s Note: This poem is dedicated to my mother. It’s taken 27 years to finally become a poem, but I feel it was worth the wait