Ann-Marie Spittle

SANTA AND THE GUARD SHIFT

‘Twas the night before Christmas
And I was stood to
My fingers were freezing
And my extremities too

My rifle was frozen to the skin of my hand
I was hoping my relief was soon coming round
Then I heard a jingle
And a strange sort of snort

I looked around slowly to see whence it came
And what greeted my eyes would put Selfriges to shame
For there was Kris Cringle, and Rudolf to boot
With Dasher and Dancer all there in a group

It seems they had trouble on that Xmas Eve
For there wasn’t a fly zone allowed where he’d been
So I called up my Guard Commander and how he did laugh
But when he saw Rudolf his jaw it did drop
“Of course we’ll help Santa” he said with a shout
And soon a great Chinook was landing kaplop

Then Santa worked magic and off we did ride
And delivered the presents to children worldwide
Then when I came back my boss said with a grin
“I guess you’re off guard shift from now on here in”

I crawled to my billet and slept all the morn
And when I got up I felt all forlorn
For there was no present from Santa for me
Guess I was too old to get one you see

But there was a knocking upon my room door
And there was a parcel right there on the floor
“For services rendered above and beyond
I give you this gift with love on this morn”

The card was signed Santa and covered in Gold
And when I looked inside my spine it ran cold
For there was the present I’d wanted it had been clear
A ticket to see my friends in Germany that year

So when others they tell you Santa is dead
Remember my story while you’re in your bed
‘Coz it could be your turn next year
To take the presents instead