James H. Smith

LITTLE BLUE PILLS

You come to think as you get older
Am I gettin’ over the hill
Why these winters sure seem a whole lot colder

If it wasn’t for the Aleve® the Doc prescribes for me
A stove up, bent over old man is what you’d see

That bottle of little blue pills;
Why, it just seems to cure most my ills

We’re out ridin’ fence, Charlie and me
Charlie says, “Doc Jones, my wife June sent me to see

She’s been hintin’ lately that what once was a branch from a great stout oak
Is now more like the limb of a weeping willow.” he choked

We stopped for lunch, I pulled our brown bags out
Charlie’s wife June had made ‘em both the same I had no doubt

Except that morning I’d dropped in mine my little blue pills
You know the ones that cure most my ills

I reached inside and popped two pills down
saw Charlie watching, on his face a frown

You got my lunch, you took my pills Charlie said
Bout then my ears started to burn, my face turned red

These are my Aleve®, my little blue pills
No, he shook his head, they’re Vi-ag-era®; Doc give ‘em to me to cure June’s ills

I looked at the bottle and saw Charlie’s name
How can they be so different? Why his pills and mine looked just the same

Doc said not to take more than one; it might cause a little harm
So I think you and I better head for the barn

I stepped in the saddle, throwed my leg over old Bucks back
Uh-oh! somethin’ in my pants just went crack

I looked down and thought my Levis® had shrunk
Oh my lord, looks like I’ve just become a hunk

I gave old Buck his head, just loosed the rein
But every time he jerked or jarred, I had this unusual pain

This feelin’ I’m gettin’ is most unreal
A little shy of three score years, not sixteen – so what’s the deal?

I’ve got to get back to the barn, this is gettin’ ‘most more than I can stand
Got to get this problem solved, get this thing in hand

Doc had himself a laugh after he rushed out to the place
I sat there with my Ice pack more than a little red in the face

It got me to thinkin’ a sittin’ there, as long as a man got those little blue pills
He’ll function that’s sure, and no one can tell him he’s over the hill