Randy E. Richmond

ALL IN A DAY’S WORKOUT

Though I always prefer to do my daily three and a half to four mile walk outdoors when possible, today’s promise of rain kept me indoors. I actually get a better workout on the treadmill, but the scenery never changes. My routine has been a brisk walk of 3.6 mph for four minutes and then one minute or so running at 6 mph. Then I repeat that for fifty minutes.

So today I’m around 40 minutes into that routine, on the 6 mph leg, when the paper shredder on the desk (which due to space constraints, sits right next to the treadmill) fell off…

Well, needless to say, running in place at 6 mph doesn’t leave one with a lot of options… when the shredder hit the deck of the treadmill, it, being nearly full, exploded into a scene that seemed to be reminiscent of what Dorothy must have experienced when the twister hit!

The heaviest (working) part of the shredder fortunately fell between the wall and the treadmill, but the hopper (remember, nearly full) hit the deck, bounced two or three times, and being unable to run 6 mph, it headed at that pace toward the back of the machine. I have to say now that I truly don’t believe that even Ronnie Harmon, the wonderful Iowa Hawkeye running back in the 80s could have juked and jived his way through a half dozen tacklers and done a better job than I did evading that plastic linebacker!

Meantime, the combination of the treadmill’s fast moving belt, the small fan on the desk to keep me cool, and the seemingly thousands of tiny pieces of paper interacting with them produced a momentary visual wonder. I’m still not quite sure if it more resembled a brief January blizzard or an episode of ‘Deal or No Deal’ that had just produced a million dollar winner that was being showered with confetti.

This whole scene played out in just a few seconds… fast enough that when it was over I surveyed the aftermath and decided that all was well except for the cleanup that could wait until I’d finished the workout.

You guys would have been proud of this old Nam vet and former heart patient, but I think I’ll move that shredder to the other side of the desk now…