Richard W. Reith

I THINK OF HIM
(For Lynn and Ross)

I buried my son today, heart burning, yet I’m numb.
And God I ask, again and again, just what have I done?
The boy I carried in my womb, now going to his grave,
His smile and to hear his voice again are the only things I crave.

And every time I see a baby, I think of him.

I buried my son last month, and the red-hot pain endures;
Every breath a struggle, yet blessed time provides no cure.
“How are you doing, Lynn?” I answer that I’m fine
Truth’s not what they really want, my feelings now just mine.

And every time I see a pool, I think of him.

Some I thought were friends now avert their eyes from me.
I know my grief displays to them their vulnerability
So I cover my emotions, then fall apart with those who care
Yet knowing that the searing pain, no one can repair.

And every time I see a flower, I think of him

Everyone around me, just continuing their lives
Yet suddenly my world stopped, my heart cannot revive.
People fear to speak his name, afraid to break my heart,
“MY SON LIVED!” I want to scream, “HE’S NOT A THING APART!”

And every time I see a pair of jeans, I think of him.

Living my life a day at a time, yet losing track of days
Trying to be strong, to live again, but feelings I can’t betray
“Need anything?” I hear them say, – yes, I need to live
“What I need,” my heart screams out, “is peace you cannot give!”

And every time I see a guitar, I think of him.

I always that thought time should help, and slowly it does heal,
But the roller coaster of emotions now are too hard to conceal.
Accepting now, crying now, laughing now, and then
The slow unending agony returns to my soul again.

And every time I see a rainbow, I think of him.

Two years now since this mother’s heart put her baby in the ground
Good memories and talking to him have kept my emotions sound.
They all think that time alone can make a mother heal
Not knowing that we live for him, and his presence now is real.

And I finally know…
That every time I take a breath, I’ll think of him.