Richard D. Preston

MARY CHRISTMAS

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
I could hear Mary screaming
She’d caught fire to her blouse

Cooking’ up something
That smelled of holiday cheer
But the recipe called
For a 12 pack of beer

She was a mixin’ and a stirring
And taste testing for sure:
Mary’s intentions were honorable
And her motives were pure

But the fare she was a fixin’
Made her thirsty and so,
She knocked back a brewski
And started to glow

One led to two
And two led to four
Then she slid on the concoction
She had spilled on the floor

A slipping and a sliding
Arms flailing in the air
She spun round bowlegged
Mary didn’t seem to care

With a beer in one had
And her blouse set aflame
She was a singing while twirlin’
About Dang reindeer games

Honey she cried
As she simmered and smoked
Come get your hot dish
As on the bottle she toked

She’s a vision of loveliness
Such as a ballerina’s first flight
She purred Cerry Mistmas to all
An to all a Nood Gight

And, a Yappy Hew Near Y’all!!!

Boozedocker

Author’s Note: Don’t worry the part about cookin’… was made up… LOL