Les Peate

HILL WITH NO RUM

There’s a hill in Korea, or so I’ve been told
Where the winds from the Yalu blow bitter and cold
And the troops in their hootchies are silent and glum
As they shiver and curse on the hill with no rum!

The porters brought up the supplies at last light
With water and rations they climbed up that height
The ammo and barbed-wire on A-frames you’d see
And a bloody big jug that was marked “S.R.D.”[•]

When they reached the position, alas, on the spot
The rotten Chinese fired a harassing shot
Though no-one was injured, they all stood in shock
A piece of shell-casing had shattered the crock!

Not a word could be heard, as the troops stood spellbound
While the rich amber liquid seeped into the ground
They waited in vain for the Chinese to come
For they’d slaughter the blighters who’d knocked out their rum

Up spoke Private Murphy, the section’s “Bad hat”
“What, busted the rum jar? We cannot have that!
There’s only one thing to be done, to be sure –
I’ll go down the mountain and get us some more!”

He tore down the hill like a bat out of hell
Pursued by the bullets and mortars as well
And then came the hard part, but when he was through
He’d wheedled another supply from the “Q”

Then back up the hill under enemy fire
Which came more intensive as he climbed up higher
And just as he got to the first weapon pit
The valiant soldier was finally hit

A sinister dampness pervaded his leg
My God! Had the bullet again smashed the keg?
He turned with a smile, and replied “Oh, that’s good
I thought it was rum, but it’s only my blood.”

The troops, fortified by the issue of rum,
Could hold their position until Kingdom Come
Said Murphy “I don’t want a medal for this
But an extra rum ration would not come amiss!”

Morale is now high, and they’re all fighting fit
As they waited in vain for the Chinese to hit
But the Chinese are smart, and they’re too wise to come
And try out their luck on the hill with the rum!

Author’s Note: With thanks to Slim Dusty and his iconic Aussie song, “Pub with No Beer”