DIUTURNITIES

Damn, damn, damn those diuturnities
Time is wasted sitting here at my door
No one to see
Nowhere to go
Forgot to pay my cable bill so no TV

This is my reality my endless
Do nothing
Go nowhere days

I am afraid to leave
For I will have to speak to people
People who I don't want to get to know

I am afraid that if I get to know them
They will get killed in some stupid war
Then I would have to live with unbearable loss again

I did that in my youth
Now they are all dead
No friends, I live in constant silence

I will join them soon, my old friends - just names on a wall
PTSD the illness of choice
Among the walking dead I sit and just wait and wait and wait

Damn, damn, damn diuturnities
Who is that knocking on my door?
Hello death, I have been awaiting you, what took you so long?

©Copyright December 2004 by Kerry 'Doc' Pardue

Awarded: December 14, 2004