Anthony W. Pahl


Admiral Zumwalt, the concrete pig, caught the lust to sail the seas
But the only way it could be done was some cronies for to please
They broke his chains of steadfastness and grabbed him by the neck
And stowed him aboard a truck with sails thinking, “What the heck?”

Now he wasn’t very active, this concrete pig of Van’s
So the MPs were called in to find him, as only dedicated MPs can
With great deductive prowess (and no little scuttlebutt)
They found the bacon (so to speak) and the pig was out of luck.

When the “Union of Retired Admirals and Pigs” got whiff of the event
They set afloat the word that there would be a meeting in a tent.
Rear Admirals (and above) and the wisest and oldest of the pigs
Discussed who was to be the scapegoat; who’d end up in the brig.

Van, the caretaker of the Admiral, thought he’d better have his say
So he broke the news of the kidnapped pig and there was hell to pay.
A sycophantic lawyer (who’d sucked and soared to dizzy heights)
Sent thinly veiled written threats saying, “My Admirals don’t like these slights.

I have worked for them and I can assure that they are honourable men.”
So the publisher removed Van’s written words and counted up to ten.
Thus, the “Union of Retired Admirals and Pigs” had won another day
But by all that’s fair and just be assured those narcissists will pay.

A response to the article, “Admiral Zumwalt Abducted by Wannabe Terrorists” ~ ©Copyright February 5, 2005 by Van E. Harl