John-Ward Leighton

LOST?

Some where in the white noise of the afternoon
I awake from an utter swoon
and a dream comes through the head phones
with endless streams of color I see in minds eye.
The beat goes on in life’s dull grey throbbing drone
and the question is as always
to live wide or die.
Is the song our own
or do we dance to someone else’s tune?
Something far beyond our ken
a don’t know why
a don’t know when
but here it comes
and there it goes again.
I splash cold water on my face
Photo ©Copyright by John-Ward Leightonand wonder how I got to this place
my eyes burn
and my stomach churns
from the acid burp
of another ad
forced down my watching throat,
Leading my mind like Judas goat
down that great consumer chute.
Mindless
without a thought
for the damage done
tarted up to look like fun
the Carly Simon song
tugs my heart along
with the grey images
of computer games
destroying other images
too terrible to live
then come the scores
and we total up the cost
without thinking too carefully
about the humanity we have
lost.
I ask a friend the answer to
an obvious question
about the trauma suffered
in the rice paddies
of a war
many years ago.
The answer to the question
I already knew
and should have never hit the key
for send
because he has wounds
that will never mend
raw and open
but he survives
and goes on living wide despite the cost.
What can I say
the words were on their way
except
Tony I know your pain
and we won’t go there again.
Isn’t it true
that we all are truly
a little cruel in the everyday
and daily pay
for things we have already
lost?