Colin F. Jones


I walked through the wall this morning,
I got out of the wrong side of the bed;
Then without the slightest warning,
Something hit me on the head.
So, of course I was now unconscious,
Which meant I could not hear a thing,
So though the door bell was obnoxious,
I simply failed to hear it ring.
The bloke who had called round to see me
Now had his finger stuck in the bell,
So how long he had been there cursing,
Was for me quite hard to tell.
For I was still quite unconscious,
Lying where I had toppled to where I fell.

Well eventually I recovered,
And staggered to my wobbly feet,
When my tummy rumbled I discovered,
I had not had anything yet to eat.
I had a big bruise upon my brow now,
And a ringing in my ears,
That seemed to be quite distant;
And my eyes were filled with tears.
Well my eyes soon dried to normal,
But my ears were ringing still,
So I slipped out the back door and started,
My car up and drove down the hill,
To the shop to get some breakfast,
Then to the doctor for a pill.

But it seemed as I sat in there waiting,
That the ringing had now gone,
So I ate my toasted sandwich,
And apologized to everyone.
Off home I drove in a hurry,
Because I was expecting someone to call,
I scrambled from the car in a flurry,
And ran inside through the back room door.
So I hit the deck unconscious,
Because it was quite a jarring blow,
And when I came too with a headache,
My ears were ringing again you know.
And the door it had a hole in it,
Through which the wind would blow.

Well back to the car I staggered,
The ringing growing fainter in my ears,
And halfway down the highway it happened,
Well the ringing just disappears.
I checked my zak for followers behind me,
Then did a 360 then and there,
Heading back towards my dwelling as fast as,
A frustrated old geezer might dare.
There was a bloke at the front door when I got there,
With his arm stuck right through the wall,
He seemed delirious so I could not understand him,
So the police and an ambulance I had to call
It seems he tried to knock off my door bell,
That I had just had newly installed

The bloke I’d been expecting didn’t come,
He was an old mate from the Vietnam Days,
Hadn’t seen him for years so I might not,
Pick up on his natural ways.
I wouldn’t have known him if I saw him,
It was so long ago that evil war,
In time memories of faces grow dim,
And the old eyesight often grows poor.
Well at least the ears had stopped ringing,
And my bruises were healing ok,
Though the skinned bones of my elbows were stinging
It had been one hell of a day.
So I’ll, oops, Hell, I am no longer standing….
“And he died right there where he lay.”