Norman Bull Horn

AUSSIE LAND

This is the land down under
Where things work in reverse,
And you’re apt to make a blunder,
In ways that I’ll rehearse.

Where winter comes in summer,
And spring appears in fall,
Don’t ever ask for “spirits”
The military’s got it all.

Where a cobber is a “buddy,”
And a streetcar is a “tram,”
Where the favorite word is “bloody”
And it’s equal to our “damn.”

Where a druggist is a “chemist”
And a tavern is a “pub”
Where a “smoogie” is a kiss
And the women call you “love.”

Where they always say, “fair dinkum”
When they mean a thing’s “O.K.”
Where they say “‘twill be a fortnight”
When they mean two weeks away.

In the language of the Aussies,
A Yank’s a “bonzer bloke”
If he reaches in his pocket,
And says “Digger have a smoke.”

A Digger is a soldier
And he drinks his beer from kegs;
I guess I haven’t told you,
That they all eat “stike and eggs.”

Where a stranger must be careful
For his life’s in dangerous plight
And to add to his confusion
What should be left is right.

Where a pleasant surprise awaits you
Though astonishing it might be
They’ll give you a seven-course dinner
When they ask you in for tea.

Roughly, that’s the land down under,
Please don’t misunderstand;
But you’re apt to make a blunder
When you come to Aussieland.

My father (CTC Llewellyn C. Kenworthy) was a veteran of WWII and was on board the USS Alhena when the Japanese torpedoed it. The Alhena was subsequently towed to Australia for an extended overhaul. After Dad died in 2003, I found the following poem, on an old, yellowed newspaper clipping, tucked into his favorite Guadalcanal history book. I’ve queried several search engines to see if it exists elsewhere, and have not found a copy, so here it is, hope you can use it

Submitted by Carl Kenworthy, June 7, 2006