Ruby Alexandra Beloz


White DoveI collect my thoughts and take them to my favorite place
As I look back on my years from I was so young
I stare at my past, right in the face

Way back then my life had no regrets
Rode through life like riding on non-stop jet
Hiding from the pain that wounded me deep inside
Drinking another bottle just to forget

I realize my life today is truly a gift
I remember where my years have been

I remember surviving the Streets of Hollywood
Watching the gangs change my neighborhood
Reading the graffiti on the walls
Watching young kids my age die in vacant lots
Sticking dirty needles in their arms

The sirens were our only music that kept us alive
As someone laid on the ground after being shot
And someone would call 911

I saw the dealer on the corner take a child’s last five
All we wanted back then was not to feel or see
I often wonder how the hell we survived
I wonder how my life would have been
If I didn’t get clean and sober in the end

This morning brings another gift
I look to the sky and I can feel his presence all around
I watch the clouds as they begin to drift
This morning I got to see the sunset again
I no longer take my life in vain

I walk down by the shore
When I realize I could not shut the door
On all that has past by my life
I knew there was nothing I wanted more

Than to be at peace with my heart
I know today the gift is meant for me
That a loving God has planted his seed
That he has set me free

Of all the pain and hurt that was killing me
Just then, I saw a White Dove
That flew across my path
Its gentle wing brushed against my face
I knew at that very moment it was God’s Love
He was telling me I no longer need to be afraid
It started to rain that day

As I cried, the rain-washed away my tears
And God blessed me by removing all of my fears
No matter how hard it has rained on me
I know my Gift today has set me free