Ruby Alexandra Beloz

OH MAMA, I LET IT GO

IWVPA Club Recognition of Outstanding Non-War Related Writing: May 17, 2009
Awarded: May 17, 2009
There’s a storm on the way
Another dark day
Feelings of sadness and pain set in

So I picked up the bottle
To drown out the sounds
That rolls all round inside my head

The look in your eyes screams
Louder then I can bear
This child’s hurt shatters all my dreams

Oh Mama, I let go

I tried to look for silver and blue skies
But for me the sun never really shines
So one day at a time I slowly die inside

With each new day my pain owns me all over again
Feelings of suicide seem like happiness in the end
But there’s nowhere to hide silent tears

So I picked up the bottle and poured myself another drink
To drown away what I feel inside
To quiet the thunder and lightning in my mind

Your screams beat across my back like a whip
Your words and blows etched into my skin scared me for life
I take another drink to try to forget what’s left inside

Oh Mama, I let it go

You once told me stories of fairies that live castles in the sky
But in my dreams my castle was built on sand
Each brick blowing away in the wind

Oh Mama, I let go – I let it go

So I asked God to please give me another life
One of rainbow skies where there are always happy Moms
One where the silence is not filled with words unsaid

Oh Mama, I let go

Well my God never gave me another life
Instead he removed my thirst for my sadness and pain
So I was able to put the bottle down

All of what hurt for many years
One day it just rolled out to the sea and my pain washed away
All my scars were healed by the touched and light of ruby red cooper skies

Oh Mama, I let it go

The heavens open up from above
The sun broke through the clouds of darkness of many years
God lit my heart to feel life again and with his hand soften my tears

I never picked up the bottle again
Somehow I found a second chance
I found peace with forgiveness

Oh Mama, I finally let you go…………

Author’s Note: Dedicated to my Mother ~ Happy Mother’s Day