Robin Amy Bass

AWAKE ASLEEP DREAM

Now I lay me down to sleep
This man dreams; I start to weep
Cry for all the pain he’s seen.
Sigh for all the in between.

Sorrow buried in his soul.
Cry for all the time got stole.
Says that he is doing great
I’m praying it is not too late.

Funny how these things turn out,
Now my instincts I don’t doubt
Finding what it’s all about.
It takes time to get it out.

Things are stored up deep inside.
Slowly they become un-pried
Laughs and says he might have died.
There are times I know he tried

He sits in the vocal booth.
Finally, I hear the truth.
Twenty years it’s taken me
Both of us are breaking free

Had this happened years ago
How to deal – I would not know.
Down a drink or have some blow
Act as if he stubbed a toe.

Still I am no Wizard see
And of course no Dorothy
Well perhaps a touch of witch
I will try and hide the bitch.

It this some anomaly?
He brings out the best in me
Friends will offer their review
This is not at all like you.

And they’re right to my chagrin
Most people do not get in.
My agenda doesn’t slow
Just step over you and go

Where I want and when I will
Leave them by the window sill
If they can’t keep up with me
There’s no possibility.

For a match – there is no fuel.
They might as well go back to school
One acceptation to this rule
I’m the thread and he’s the spool

I will wind my way around
Stitch him up without a sound.
I will let him talk a while
Mentally I search his file

Looking for some hint or clue
Try to recall just what I knew
Chart is there – but I blink
Etched in disappearing ink

Most of it has been deleted
And can never be repeated
This is not the worst of news
We spent many years confused.

Something’s cannot be replaced
And some others not erased.
Still and all we’ll fill the space,
Old and New I feel this place.

I see things with seasoned eyes
He no longer does disguise
Who he is and where he’s been.
This time he has let me in.

So I’m welcomed from the cold
Tentative, this new threshold
And then he begins to talk.
Please God, Do not let me gawk

Like a school girl on her first day
Teacher has so much to say
As I recognize the fear –
I’m not the only student here.

Maybe something I can teach
Please God – do not let me preach.
Like the ocean at the beach
Just a little out of reach.

To his side I would adhere
If I thought it’d bring him near.
He is weary, this I see
Can he find his strength in me?

What to do to fix the whole?
Help this man to heal his soul.
Just be with him when I should.
Cannot leave him – never could

Still, I know to give him space
Only way he can erase
Sworn to silence – not to tell!
What to do – when he’s not well?

Understand just what he sees!
What the hell is PTSD?
Chase the devil – beat him back.
Give the enemy a whack.

Try and listen – please don’t quack
Let him know I will be back
Certain things I cannot show
Know when it is time to go

Remember he said take it slow
Not like 20 years ago.
Everything was roughly ridden
Can’t remember whose decision

I know I left willingly
But… He did not come after me.
Not the way I thought he should
Textbook case – Misunderstood
Guess I never left for good.

At the time it just seemed practical
Kind of like a long sabbatical.
Can’t explain the passing years
Laughter, sorrow – lots of tears

Fear and fortune – and some fun
Other men – he’s still the one
Like a yarn that’s never spun
Mostly I thought we were done.

Finished over – kaput – yeah! Through!
Find instead we’re overdue
Like a book – skimmed quickly through
To absorb – I must renew

Slowly, I begin to scan.
Not sure where I really am
Here’s a chapter never read
It’s a story never said.

Well I never saw through lead
This man’s good at playing dead
But I’ve grown enough to know,
This man isn’t playing so

Choice is mine to stay or go
I will help this garden grow
Part I play? A butterfly?
Better than a bee – that’s why.

They are pretty – and that’s neat?
As caterpillars have 1000 feet.
If you haven’t heard the news
I’m equipped with many shoes.

Some to crawl and some to run;
Some stiletto’s – just for fun.
I think that our time has come.
And perhaps it’s just begun

‘Cause when all is said and done
This man is the only one
I could love and help to heal.
Over kill – I can’t conceal

How I love this second chance
He can read it in my glance
So I won’t articulate
Force myself to wait wait Wait!!

What’s another year or two?
He is one of very few
I set out to paraphrase –
I end up going on for days.

See – He’s not some latest phase
Not some mindless school girl’s craze.
He is just the perfect glove.
He is just the man I love.