BIRTH OF THE ARMY
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth and the Infantry, and God saw the Infantry and indeed it was very good.
And God spoke upon the Infantry, “Be tactical and proficient, rule the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air, and over all key terrain”.
And it came to pass that the Infantry called upon their God; “O Lord, help us we are weary”. And the Lord took mercy upon them, for key terrain was abundant throughout the land.
And he raised up the weakest of the Infantry and set them upon beasts of burden and called them armour. And God saw the armour and indeed it was mediocre. And the Infantry and the Armour dwelt in the land therein.
But it came to pass that the Infantry again called upon their God; “O Lord, help us for we are weary”. And the Lord heard their words and looked with favour upon the Infantry, for they were truly blessed.
The Lord reached among their number and chose those with bums like base plates and mouths that ranted and raved, and called these Artillery. And God saw the Artillery and indeed, it too was mediocre. And the Infantry and the armour and artillery dwelt in the land therein.
But it came to pass the Infantry again called upon their God; “O lord, help us, for we are weary”. And again the Lord heard their voices and stretched out his hands and touched those of the Armour and Artillery of small mind and called these Ordnance and Signals and Pay corps.
He stretched out his hands again and touched those of lengthen arms, hunched back and excessive hair growth and called them Military Police. And he touched those with light heads and called them aviators, and those which were filled with greed and called these quartermasters, and those which were sickly and called these medics, And those who hid themselves in darkness and called these intelligence, And those who wallowed in mud and called these engineers. And God saw all these that he touched and knew that they were touched. And the Infantry and the others dwelt in the land therein.
But it came to pass that the Infantry again called out; “O Lord, help us, for we are weary”.
And the lord looked upon the Infantry with anger, and the heavens roared with thunder, and the skies burned with fire.
And God spoke to the Infantry, “How couldst thou yet be weary? I have given thee Armour and artillery and a host of others to support thee”.
And the Infantry humbled themselves before the Lord and answered, “O Lord, it is of them that we weary!”
And the Lord smiled upon the Infantry, and forgave them, for he understood that of which they spoke.
FOR THEY WERE INFANTRY, BY GOD!
Apologies to those non-Infantry types… (That is, the apologies are that you’re not Infantry)