David R. “Poppa” Alexander

JUSTIFY MY ACTIONS?

Over the years of self analysis
That has caused considerable mind paralysis
I have come to one conclusion
No matter what one did and is no illusion

Men die in most all combat situations
The nature of fighting causes frustrations
No one can make all the right decisions
And the outcome may not be what we envisioned.

For every causality of any operation,
The best one can hope for is no aberration;
To blame yourself for all that may go wrong
Is to sing your own swan song.

It has taken years to partially understand
Guilt, anger and self-doubt are a part of command.
No matter what the level of command you undertake
Each of us is subject to some mistake.

All of the above seems self-evident
But it doesn’t take away the pain for something you couldn’t prevent.
A young man dies and one is full of doubt
Only the Lord will ease that kind of silent shout.

I’m not releasing myself from mistakes I might have made
But to continue not to blame myself is something for which I’ve prayed.
Knowing in ones heart you did the best you could
Only eases the pain and the wish all understood.

Friends, family and ones that were there
May help in the daylight to another’s stair
But at night when the dead march on
With only you there to face them till dawn

A family’s blame for events that occurred
While awake seems absurd;
Understanding their distress
Doesn’t make the hurt any less.

All of the kind, and understanding words
With a better understanding that they might spur
Means little when the nightmares and sweats creep into sleep
You awaken and began to weep.