Trevor Morgan

SEMBLANCE OF SYCOPHANCY
or: Always Civil (but not) Servants

Oh, we write long reports
Then we edit the draft
And we tick every box
Because that is our craft

But we live by a misdeed
We’re always performing
For we live by a creed
Bitter and deforming

We can slow all things down
When they need to be done
Leave you hanging around
Cos’ delay can be fun

Chorus:
No! We’re not your servants
Though you’ll never know it
We hold you in contempt
But we’ll never show it

If you’re in a hurry
And foolishly show it
Then there is a duty
Placed on us to slow it

Yes, we’ll lead you around
On a merry wee dance
No straight answers are found
So you haven’t a chance

There’s always somewhere
That we can refer you
What takes you forever
Will surely deter you

Chorus:
Though straight are your questions
Our answers are never
We’re quick with rejections,
For – “Yes” – wait forever

Where it’s easy to aid
Then we must show restraint
Cos’ that’s not why we’re paid
Why – there’d be a complaint

Yes, our life is quite swell
Though not of our making
Oh but yours will be hell
Because of our faking

Chorus:
Cos’ we’re not your servants
Though you’ll never know it
We hold you in contempt –
But we’ll never show it

We seek both grace and favour
That’s why we lick much arse
We may not like the flavour
Rewards can be first class